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sunnudagur, nóvember 13, 2005

"þið eruð hjarta fyrirtækisins..."

ég er að vinna hjá frábæru fyrirtæki.
-eða svo er mér sagt,
-bæði af yfirmönnum og svo hvatningarbréfsneplunum með stóra letrinu sem ég fæ með launaseðlinum mínum.

Þetta er svona nútímaþrælahald sem sogar til sín aumingja að mestu leyti sem flestir eru útlendingahelvíti sem misst hafa sjálfsvirðinguna sína (ég og fleiri) eða bornir og barnfæddir Bretar úr lægstu stéttum þjóðfélagsins. Útlendingagreyin eru oftast frá fyrrverandi nýlenduríkjum Bretanna sem í flestum tilfellum hafa mun veikara hagkerfi og reyna þeir því að "græða" eins og þeir geta í þessi tvö ár sem þeir mega vinna í þessu landi til að kaupa sér bíl eða borga eigin menntun þegar heim er komið.

Innfæddu Bretarnir eru svo heldur áhugalausari um menntun og flestir sem ég hef rætt við luku námi fyrir 16 ára aldur og finnst enginn tilgangur í að taka upp þráðinn aftur í þeim efnum. Þeir fíla flotta bíla og flottar kerlingar og lesa rusldagblaðið "The Sun" og geta verið montnir yfir því að þeir séu svo menningarlega sinnaðir að geta lesið dagblað. Þeir hvá upphátt yfir fréttunum sem eru nánast ekkert nema risastór fyrirsögnin, sem er að sjálfsögðu skæld til að virka á þá, svo slefa þeir yfir blaðsíðu 3 telpunni en þykjast vera að lesa greinarnar á sömu opnu þegar aðrir eru nálægt.

Á vinnustöðunum eru svo haldnir fundir sem kallast á ensku "Team-talk" sem eru til þess að efla liðsheildina.
Þar standa sveittir yfirmenn oft með enn æðri yfirmenn sem fylgjast grannt með og þylja upp fyrir litlu vinnu-maurunum sínum þau markmið "liðsins" sem nást hafa og annað sem hefði betur mátt fara. Allt er þetta frekar æft og stíft og gert í þeim tilgangi að bæði þóknast æðsta strumpinum ásamt því að láta litlu ómerkilegu ógeðin trúa því að það sem þau geri er líka obbosslega mikilvægt og allir standa sig so ossalega vel. Svo standa allir í hring og klappa hvor öðrum á bakið og segja "koma svo, berjast berjast berjast!!!"

Á einum slíkum fundinum var sá æðsti viðstaddur og hélt tölu um stærð fyrirtækisins og aukningu þess á alla kanta. Hann þuldi upp milljónirnar sem skapast höfðu í hagnað frá stofnun þess að núdeginum og á meðan sat ég og gnísti tönnum.

Samstarfsmenn mínir sátu dáleiddir og horfðu hugfangnir á kónginn sinn og hugsuðu með sér "Vá, ég er hluti af þessu".

Sannleikurinn er auðvitað sá að fyrirtækið býðst til að taka að sér þjónustustörf hjá öðrum fyrirtækjum og fær borgað fyrir það mannsæmandi laun oftast um 1300-1500 kall á tímann (a.m.k.) fyrir hvern starfsmann á meðan þeir borga svo sínu liði rétt undir 700 kallinum fyrir djobbið.

Ég var spurð að þessu á sama fundi af æðsta strump: "Indiana, have you thought about becoming a PERMANENT staff member?"
-og auðvitað svaraði ég ekki rétta svarinu en sagðist ekki hafa áhuga á því þar sem "ég vildi ekki binda mig" þegar ég hefði að sjálfsögðu átt að bæta við að ég hefði þegið betri laun við að steikja hamborgara í sjoppu í Vestmannaeyjum sautján ára... eða þá að 16 ára bróðir minn fengi hærri laun í súpermarkaði for crying out loud!
Enn eitt augnablikið sem ég þurfti að kýla sjálfa mig í magann fyrir rangt tilsvar.
Síðan þetta gerðist er ég búin að æfa ný og ný svör við óspurðum spurningum og ímynda mér ýmsa möguleika á að segja upp á misdramatískan hátt.

Annars er ég búin að vera að vinna á þremur nýjum vinnustöðum á þremur vikum og ég held ég sé að fá nóg af þessu rugli. Mig langar samt einhvern veginn ekki að hætta hljóðlega heldur langar mig að eitra aðeins útfrá mér fyrst.
Alls ekki til að skaða samstarfsfólk mitt beinlínis heldur bara aðeins að hræra í hausnum á þessu liði, yfirmönnunum sennilega til mikils ama.

Ég er semsagt á höttunum eftir nýju djobbi.
Ég vil þiggja sanngjörn laun og neita að vera í þjónustustarfi fyrir fólk í jakkafötum sem horfir ekki einu sinni í augun á mér. Andskotans aumingjar.

yfir og út

64 Comments:

At 8:26 e.h., Blogger -(..)- said...

thanks alot for the compliment paul, i know i haven't been very busy blogging lately but it's always great to receive sincere compliments like that. it kinda makes it all worthwhile, you know, a small pat on the shoulder really makes my day.
anyway, i wish you all the best with your bog-roll and thanks again for stopping by.

my best and friendliest regards,
sincerely,
indi.

 
At 3:02 f.h., Anonymous Nafnlaus said...

Hljómar svolítið eins og "The office". En já, láttu þessar drullutussur finn fyrir því.

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At 1:00 e.h., Blogger thora gunnarsdottir said...

thad var mikid ad min let sja sig

 
At 3:56 e.h., Blogger Bella Blogg said...

Elsku Indíana
Ég hef látið þýða bloggið þitt og sendi það svo til æðsta strumps, þú munt verða rekin innan tveggja til þriggja daga. Þetta er ekki allt, til að toppa þetta sendi ég greinina einnig á The SUN og ætla þeir að koma til þín og fá að taka af þér mynd með greininni, svo ekki verður þú bara rekin eins og þú ert að óska eftir heldur fæ ég greitt fyrir það líka...BARA FRÁBÆRT !! láttu mig vita ef þú vilt fara í samstarf, við getum rakað upp breska markaðinn á no time...
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At 9:55 e.h., Blogger -(..)- said...

TAKK BELLA, fiETTA ER SENNILEGA fiA‹ BESTA SEM HEFUR KOMI‹ FYRIR MIG! BIDDU THE SUN UM A‹ BIRTA GREININA ÁSAMT MYND Á BLS 3. ÉG HEF NEBBLA Á TILFINNINGUNNI A‹ fiETTA EIGI EFTIR A‹ OPNAR FJÖLMARGAR DYR... ("MODEL" Í DRUNGALEGU HERBERGI Á fiRI‹JU HÆ‹ Í SOHO?)

ja, nema flá a› fleir rá›i mig til starfa sem manager? to take over æ›stistrumpur?

kvikindiskonan flín...

 
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